As a parent volunteer, I feel incredibly fortunate to witness and experience moments that truly reflect the spirit of a Cadet Parent.
As my daughter left for Vernon Cadet Training Centre (CTC) to participate in the Drills & Ceremony Instructor course. As she stepped into the bustling terminal, her face radiated with a bright smile, shimmering with excitement and anticipation for this new chapter in her life. This summer camp, one she had eagerly awaited, would help her mentor and inspire the younger Cadets, and I watched in awe as she stepped forward with such bravery.
I lingered long after she vanished from sight, grappling with an overwhelming blend of pride and melancholy. Four long weeks ahead, weeks that feel like an eternity. As I stood there watching the ferry pull away, nostalgia washed over me. Memories flooded my mind of that first day of Cadets when my little girl, filled with innocence, held my hand tightly, looking to me for comfort and reassurance. How could it be that three years had flown by so fast? She has transformed into someone truly remarkable, poised and ready to spread her wings and soar, yet my heart still clings to those cherished memories of our shared laughter and her once small worries.
When I returned home, I found myself drawn to her room, where I sank onto her bed. In that moment, it struck me. I would likely become the most pathetic empty nester in history.
A Journey Through Cadet Life
In my three years as a Cadet parent, I have witnessed a remarkable journey as Cadets join and leave 205 Squadron. Some step in on their 12th birthday, filled with dreams, while others arrive later, each bringing their unique story. Some have long awaited this moment with anticipation and excitement, while others come driven by enthusiastic parents. The paths vary. Some stay for only a few months, while others thrive until they age out at 19. Each Cadet adds their own spirit and talent, contributing to the vibrant fabric of the Squadron’s growth.
The First Stage: Merge/Honeymoon
For my daughter, the first year was a mix of nerves and innocence as she entered an unfamiliar world. I watched her meticulously polish her boots, striving for a shine that mirrored her aspirations. After long Thursday meetings, she would return home, her feet sore, and frustrated over her drill mistakes, often intimidated by the cadet leaders in this new hierarchical environment.
During that first year, she threw herself wholeheartedly into a whirlwind of Cadet activities, joining the band, biathlon team, marksmanship, effective speaking, and signing up for any events that did not conflict with her other engagements. My role quickly evolved into that of a supportive taxi driver, shuttling her back and forth five days a week to ensure she didn’t miss a single opportunity. The energy and enthusiasm she radiated were infectious, and I took pride in being her dedicated chauffeur. However, as the months passed, the relentless pace began to take its toll on her spirit.
Then Came the Doubts, Denial and Disillusionment
By her second year, the weight of her commitments became overwhelming, and she found herself feeling burnt out and struggling to muster the motivation that once fueled her passion for these pursuits. It was clear that the constant rush had led to a loss of joy and a growing sense of exhaustion. Recognizing her need for balance, she decided to step back and explore other interests, seeking to rediscover what truly made her happy.
Commit or Leave: Time to Decide
Yet, by the end of the year, she experienced a poignant realization: she had profoundly missed her friends and the challenges of being a Cadet. It was a part of her identity that she couldn’t simply replace. With renewed clarity about her passions and priorities, she chose to return to Cadets, this time with a refreshed perspective and on her own terms, eager to embrace the experiences that had once brought her so much fulfillment.
And Finally, the Bliss Stage
To be honest, it was incredibly frustrating for me to watch her take a step back. I’m glad I held back from saying anything, allowing her the space to find her own way. Had I pushed her to attend the Thursday meetings, she might have quit altogether. If her first year was marked by infatuation, her third year blossomed with her sincere desire to grow as a Cadet.
As time marched on, the older cadets who once seemed intimidating evolved into mentors, guiding her with their wisdom and experience. In her third year, genuine friendships blossomed, and the whole dynamic began to transform. No longer a newcomer tripping over her own laces, she gradually began to embrace her role as a leader, powered by the supportive community and the invaluable mentorship she received.
In September, my daughter will be a Sergeant, which feels so surreal. One thing that has genuinely impressed me over the last three years is the older Cadets’ willingness to take on responsibilities and guide those just beginning the journey. They remember what it was like to be new and appreciate the value of patience and encouragement. The older Cadets instill in the younger ones the values of courage, perseverance, and the importance of friendship, just as their older cadets have done for them.
Looking back, I cannot help but reflect on how much this experience has transformed not only my child but all the young Cadets. It is truly heartwarming to watch them evolve from shy newcomers into confident young leaders. During every Commanding Officer’s Parade, I watch in awe as their slouched postures and distant gazes gradually improve; their backs become straighter, and their eyes shine with more enthusiasm. I had to suppress a giggle when I heard the band play “O Canada” in September. Still, I know from experience how their performance will undergo a remarkable transformation by June for the Annual Ceremonial Review.
Confessions of a Level 3 Cadet Parent
As a parent volunteer, I feel incredibly fortunate to witness this incredible transformation. This journey has meant so much more than just having my child participate in a program; it has laid the foundation for lifelong friendships and has been pivotal in my child’s development. I have seen her grow into a confident and capable young adult, gaining discipline, responsibility, and a deep sense of community.
It is not just about the skills; it is the friendships they (and we, parents) have forged and the memories we all created together. I have shared laughter and even a few tears with other parents, and it is clear we are all in this together, cheering on our kids. Every practice and event has brought us closer as a community that feels like an extended family. There is a deep sense of hope knowing they are becoming compassionate leaders who will inspire others, just as they have inspired me. Being part of this journey truly feels special, and I couldn’t be more grateful for this adventure we’re on together.
But for now, I will remain in my miserable state and count the days until my beloved daughter returns from Vernon. Her room is spotlessly clean, ready for her to come back. Perhaps I should have left it the way she left it; I regret that now. Who knew I would even miss the mess she made that exasperated me? Luckily, I still have a few more years left to roll my eyes and yell at her to clean up her room.
Author Olivia Joo
